Finding that Middle Ground

Ok I ain’t a saint, sometimes being fresh out of fucks to give is exactly what some people deserve

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As I reflect on the past few years  I must admit I’ve come a long way on my growth journey. I also must admit, I’ve got a long road ahead yet to be explored. 

I’m grateful I’ve made it this far! As I prepare to say good damn riddance to 2016 and all it’s fucked up memories, I am thinking about my main personal growth objectives for the upcoming year. For me, that means learning to find that middle ground with personal relationships! 

What I do know. is that not everyone is worthy of, or prepared to receive my best. That’s been demonstrated repeatedly, to the point it’s become a hindrance to my success. 

For the most part I either care too much or not at all. Both are dangerous places for me. The first usually ends up hurting me and the latter I end up unintentionally hurting someone else. Ok I ain’t a saint, sometimes being fresh out of fucks to give is exactly what some people deserve and I’m more than willing to oblige them. Who gives a shit about their feelings. See that’s why that’s dangerous. But to those individuals, whom I will just refer to as the exes. (EX-friends, EX-lovers, EX-husband, EXwhatever, You get the point!) Fresh out of fucks is what I am for them and fresh out I shall remain. 

But in the new year I’m gonna really work on my fuck distribution. I promise, I really am. Now don’t go getting all excited and expect for me suddenly change up cuz that ain’t happening. I’m just gonna try to be more selective on the front end fucks. So in 2017 I shall keep my fucks to myself until people earn them. That way I don’t end up getting fucked in the back end… (hahaha yall catch that?)
#NovaNewsFlash #FreshOuttaFucks 

Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates

And people are like those little tiny pieces filled with a bunch of shit you don’t know about till it’s too late

Yup, but you already know I ain’t no Forrest Gump…and if you seen me you’d know I ain’t running nowhere!

Yeah life IS like a Box of chocolates! And  people are like those little tiny pieces filled with a bunch of shit you don’t know about till it’s too late! Now you gotta choose…spit or swallow? 

(NOW if y’all take that spit or swallow comment some place nasty that’s ALL ON YOU)

Anyways, like I was about to say before y’all went THERE….. Just like chocolate candies, only an assorted few in the box, are anything you wanna keep around. 

There’s the rare speciality ones that are just too good to be true and you will do anything to save and preserve those relationships. That’s that good shit and there’s only like one or two per lifetime. 

A few of the pieces are alright in small quantities. But you could just as easily pass for a Snickers bar which is guaranteed to satisfy! (don’t go there!! Stop it… damn see y’all are really nasty)

 Okay I’m back…  then there’s a few more that you will deal with if that’s all that’s hanging around… It’s better than starving I suppose? Maybe not!

The rest, you might as well toss ’em out with the sour milk and molded bread. They look good on the outside but they’re full of shit and the tiniest piece is guaranteed to make you sick.  Those are the ones that will have you wanting to rethink your very decision to bring ’em home in the first damn place.

I say all of that to say… I’m looking back at my last couple exes and a few frenemies and thinking…. Where the hell have I been shopping to get full boxes if shitty chocolates???  The deep clearance shelf at the chocolate factory outlet????? 

I gotta do better!  

#ChocolateChallenge   Think about your friends, acquaintances and exes and tell me what kind of chocolates are in your box?… Then leave me a comment so I know if it’s just me or if it’s the world and all the boxes are jacked up.

I want a refund!!!

Just say fuck it, and mean it!

That’s my mood about a whole lot of shit right now. I’m nothing, if not consistent!

You know I realized the other day that “fuck” is probably in of my most frequently used words. It is so applicable to so many scenarios. 

Burn dinner…. FUCK IT

Clothes don’t fit… FUCK IT 

Late for work… FUCK IT

Bitches taking shit…FUCK IT

Spouse/ Insignificant other cheating… FUCK IT (oh in this case FUCK THEM TOO)

Yep “FUCK” is by far the most resourceful tool in my vocabulary to happiness tool box. To me, fuck it is my permission to move beyond the drama, bullshit, pain, and frustrations that may otherwise hold me hostage  to anger, resentment and self doubt.

For example…. I was in my closet today…. And as Sophia said in The Color Purple… “I was feeling down and low, I was feelin.mighty bad”…  Because sometime between last winter and now all of my FUCKing clothes shrank on the hangers. I checked the labels and they said hang to dry, so I did… Nowhere did the label say do not consume wine, cheesecake, or tacos or this shit will shrink… So I feel duped. Well fat and duped actually. Naked too, but I don’t wanna scare you, so ignore that part. Fuck my life, fuck my closet and fuck my clothes.. FUCK IT ALL! 

That’s my mood about a whole lot of shit right now. I’m nothing, if not consistent!

My point is this, had the hangers accosted my clothes the way they did, and I not have learned to say FUCK IT, I’d be fucked!  I’d have been in the closet, naked and alone in tears. Boobs on knees, curled up in a ball wishing I’d never had the tacos, wine, margaritas, nachos, cheesecake, pasta, French fries, pizza or beer…(Damn that looks bad in writing) ughhhh Fuck it!
 Instead, I looked in my drawer, found some workout pants (that used to be too big, guess they shrank to)  and left for the respite of the nail salon as planned! After all, I say fuck everything.if you can’t at least have wine, cheesecake and tacos over the holidays. Tacos are life and wine makes it worth living.

So I  encourage you to practice as you go. Say FUCK IT as you see fit. Do it, say it and mean it unapologetically. At least till January when resolutions to lose weight start….

If so, I might be able to fit my underwear by spring!  If not we can resume Fuck it season again in March when we all trick off  our resolutions.
Well I feel better now getting that all out in the open. Confessions good for the soul. 
What’s your FUCK IT moment for this week?

​The Fuckboy Formula

Remind yourself that dick is a dime a dozen and good dick may cost u 20 cents at best.

I have no idea where this shit comes from but I was just thinking about how fuckboys become fuckboys. 
As women we wrongfully blame ourselves and absorb responsibility for a great deal of the bullshit that fuckboys Put us through. But on the real though, if you look at their history, they were fuckboys when we inherited them. So back to the question….. 

There is a fuckboy formula…..

Great Dick + Bad Attitude – Respect = Fuckboy

Ok so I will be the first to admit Good Dick is a distraction. That’s probably how I got caught up this last time. The dick was fire, his attitude however outside the bedroom…. Sucked monkey balls!!! I just wasn’t paying attention! As for the respect factor. Level 0. 

He was a fuckboy in every form of the word. 

So how do you escape the fuckboy grasp……

1.  Disengage from the dick.

Remind yourself that dick is a dime a dozen and good dick may cost u 20 cents at best. Fuckboy dick however, will cost u your peace of mind and your happiness. As long as he thinks his dick will keep you content you will be fighting a losing battle. #NovaNewsflash …It ain’t THAT DAMN GREAT BRUH!!!

2.   Get a good quality dildo.

This will get you over the ‘hump’ no pun intended (but that shit is funny). Just like guys sometime we just need to get one or three off and a good dildo with fresh batteries will do the job just fine. Its quicker, quieter, no breakfast required, and no bullshit to be dealt with!

3. Take off the fucking rose colored glasses

See the fuckboy shit for what it is and stop blaming yourself and making excuses. Its not your imagination. Fuckboys are real and they will use you up and leave you high and dry as soon as your perceived value runs out.

4.  Remember your worth!!!!

Fuuuuck this is the key though… stop waiting, hoping, wishing that someone will do for you what you are capable of doing for.yourself. LOVING YOU!!!!! Now look. I aint judging, cuz yall know I got caught in the fuckboy game. But as soon as I recognized it I told the fucker he gotsta go!!! Not months or years later. DAYS!!

I never asked him to change, I never asked him to be anything other than the fuckboy he was. I loved me enough to say #BoyBye!

5.  STOCK UP!!! 

Never leave home wothout it. **Warning the gonna call you a stuck.up bitch but guess what…..THEY’RE IRRELEVANT!!

My Nice Just Ran The Fuck Out!

Fellas when you have a good woman at home. You know, the kind that cooks for you. Takes care of your home. Brings in a substantial part of the household income…. stop doing stupid shit and think that they don’t know what the fuck you’re up too.

I try for the most part to be a good person, to see the best in others and in general just fucking be nice!

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That is a highly-overrated experience. So much so that I found it necessary to create a platform like this to express myself on days that I am just fresh out of fucks to give and the credit line has been revoked.

People take nice people for granted. Men take good women for granted. Here in lies my issue for this evenings rant!!!!

Fellas when you have a good woman at home. You know, the kind that cooks for you. Takes care of your home. Brings in a substantial part of the household income…. stop doing stupid shit and think that they don’t know what the fuck you’re up too.

They do, they’re just waiting for the right moment to show you.  And you look like a stupid asshole to all your boys who are stacked up on the sidelines waiting for your final fuck up and for her to tell you to kiss her ass for the last time.

You think you got shit on lock but guess what…smart women keep spare keys.

Knock that shit off!

That’s all I got to say. I’m about to call the locksmith

 

Don’t Get It Twisted

By the time she gets caught, if she gets caught it’s because she had already quit. you just weren’t paying attention. By then the last two fucks she had to give were already gone.

See most relationship problems begin with lack of respect. If you allow respect for your partner to guide your relationship you will drastically reduce the problems and the magnitude of the ones that do arise will be minimized. 

But alot of folks have forgotten that basic equalizer!

Listen up ya’ll…. making your partner feel disrespected, disregarded and tossed aside is the quickest way to open the doors to your relationship. 

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Fellas you wanna play the game then get pissed the hell off when your lady invites a new player to the game. Well guess what…. learn some damn respect. They say men cheat more but women cheat better… write that shit down!!! Now you wanna know how and why???

HOW: You taught her every fucking thing NOT TO DO. She watched, listened and learned. So, while you thought she was sitting back buying your bullshit ass stories, she was taking notes, accepting applications and holding interviews for your replacement

WHY: Because you treated her like an option but didn’t realize your ass was a CHOICE all along. She chose to stay. She chose to give you the information you need to fix it and keep her… but you was playing for fun…while she was choosing for keeps.

By the time she gets caught, if she gets caught it’s because she had already quit. you just weren’t paying attention. By then the last two fucks she had to give were already gone. 

You treated her like an option she left you like a choice. Thanks for the lessons.
Game over! CHECKMATE Mother Fucker

 

Miss Me With The Bullshit and PS: FUCK OFF!!!!!

When you know you have done all you can do and it still isn’t good enough you gotta just be strong enough to say fuck it. 

All hell is about to break loose. It’s ok though. Sometimes shit has to shake you up to get you out of your comfort zone, even when your comfort zone is no longer comforting. Especially when your comfort zone has become down right un-fucking-comfortable.

When you know you have done all you can do and it still isn’t good enough you gotta just be strong enough to say fuck it. 

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Face your fears and remember that as of yesterday, you had already survived the hardest day of your life.

If today takes its place, tomorrow you can say…. I just survived the hardest day of my life. 

Either way my soul is telling me and spirit is insisting I say Fuck IT, Fuck YOU, and Fuck OFF. My heart is a bit sad but cool. My mind had already gained the clarity to see that IT, THIS, US, and YOU are all wrong for me

I was better before this and I will be better again once this is over. 

So, on behalf of my soul, spirit, heart, and mind I graciously say FUCK OFF. Love don’t live here no more and neither do you mother fucker.

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No worries though I’mma keep my head up cuz you gonna learn today you fucked over the wrong bitch!