Fuckboys and Facebook

There should be a button on Facebook that allows you to flag a Fuckboy post.

Fuuuuuuck!!!!!! Keep the Fuckboys off of the Book!!!!

Y’all laughing but I am soooo serious tho!!!!

There should be a button on Facebook that allows you to flag a Fuckboy post. You  can add it on the little choice list with the like button.

You know something like….

Ya feel me?  Then after so many 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆  they’re profile has a permanent cover photo that says WARNING… YOU ARE ENTERING A HAZARDOUS AREA. KNOWN FUCKBOY ON DECK! 

That way innocent chicks can track the Fuckboy count and won’t unknowingly drink the  Hennesey laced koolaid or buy the non existent lifestyles of the Fuckboy Exteaordinnaire.  

Now I know there’s some thirsty ass broads just dyin’ for an opportunity to take their shots. Even with a 🍆 count  well over 990…. But that’s none of my bizness. (Don’t look at me all Fucked up YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT SHIT IS TRUE!)
And I’m not selfish, I wanna protect the masses. So this can also be used as a warning system for the homies…..Like, if you’re a good guy living a grown man type of life, but your homie is a fuckboy on fleek….. You miiiiight wanna distance yourself before you are named guilty by association.

Look, here’s what pisses me the fuck off. AFTER I became Fuckboy free all his friends, homies, and some of his family all the sudden wanna say… “We wandered why you were with him” & “I told u he wasn’t shit”.!.!.!
NO THE FUCK YOU DID FUCKING NOT!!

Had I known he had a 250,000 🍆count I would have ran in opposite direction, changed my name, said I was married, a lesbian or transgender…. Dayumm, and anything else I could do or say to avoid his ass!

No no no no no!!!! What they said was “wow he’s changed alot”  and “oooh I can’t believe you got him to settle down” 
Get the fuck outta here! For everyone who knew and didn’t tell me, they should have to commit 6 months of their life to living with the same Fuckboy bullshit that I had to endure as punishment for their silence. Then figure for themselves how to get out of it just like I had to do.

Ok shit! That’s not even what I came here to talk about. I’m just so annoyed by the blatant fuckery! 

No, what started this tangent was me being on FB and seeing the “Lifestyles of the Fuckboys and Not-Famous” flossing like they really got some shit to offer…. But the pics he was using to sway the masses are from when he was using me…

I wanted to be like “ummm boo boo,  you know love don’t live here no more and neither do you. So please stop flexing for  The Book!” 

And the I wanted to tell his groupies “FYI…That’s my chair he’s sitting in, at my house, on my patio… I fell for the smoke and mirrors too, don’t feel bad. But he’s a Fuckboy!… You have been warned and… You’re welcome. You can Thank me later cuz I know you ain’t gonna believe me right now”

Of course I didn’t but that is when I had my idea…. 

Slut Like Tendencies

So I really wanna talk a minute about Single men post relationship vs. Single women post relationship and the bullshit assed double standards that are at play. That shit is 50 shades of fucked up

Maaaaan, I had forgotten how fucking awesome being single is. Now I can appreciate how an inmate must feel on his release date. 

Okay, wait before the sensitive ass people, (who probably shouldn’t be following me anyway) get their panties in a wad…. Lemme say this. I already know that not that all relationships are bad, but mine have all sucked monkey nuts. Anyways fuck it…. I’m gonna save that for another day. 

So I really wanna talk a minute about Single men post relationship vs. Single women post relationship and the bullshit assed double standards that are at play. That shit is 50 shades of fucked up and I’m not feeling it one bit.

Back in the day Cyndi Lauper had a hit song called “Girls just wanna have fun” I think if she wrote it today she’d have called it “Girls just wanna fuck too”  Okayyyyy, maybe that’s a stretch but you know what the hell I’m getting at. (And by all means, don’t comment or email me asking who she is. My name Missy, not Google, go look that shit up.) But back to my point…..

When guys get free, their encouraged to do them, have some drinks, go out, get some ass and enjoy being single. #NovaNewsflash… That fucker was doing that shit long before he was single!! And 9 out of 10 of y’all knew about it!

When girls get free, we’re told to take it slow, enjoy our time alone, reconnect with our inner core, and decide what we want from the next relationship.Wait, whaaaaat? No you didn’t!

Ummm as the proud single Ex of the world’s oldest Fuckboy…. I say “fuck what yall talkin bout!” Y’all can go sit down with that bullshit. I’m tryna have fun! I had TIME to get in touch with my core and figure out what the fuck I want while his bum ass was off doing fuckboy shit and thinking I was a fool. Me, personally, I used my alone time IN THE RELATIONSHIP to get my head straight. Hahaha that’s why I’m single! #BoyBye
Honestly, I do prefer to have a regular source for the🍆🍆🍆🍆. It limits complications and requires less  management. But look, shit happens sometimes and a 🍆🍆🍆🍆on standby is sometimes required to tame the 🐱🐱🐱🐱. (PSA:protect the kitty, fuck responsibly)

 Here’s what I want you to know about the single girls taking their own needs into control…. They’re not sluts, their more like, bachelorettes! They just have slut like tendencies. 😎😎😎 The grown and sexy bachelorette knows how to handle her business, get the 🍆🍆🍆🍆when she wants it, put the shit on pause when she doesn’t, and still look like a lady in the streets. Bachelorettes like their lives, men, and sex drama free! Sluts on the other hand, lack all of the above. They have no business to speak of, take the dick when and where they can get it, along with any ensuing bullshit that may be tired to it.  For them, the word lady is a noun not a verb. It conjours up images in their minds of their grannies in rocking chairs!

Soooo, please stop judging the girls that have survived the fuckboy bullshit and come out the other side knowing what they want and how to get it on their own terms. 

After all, girls just wanna have fun! Just like boys do!

Finding that Middle Ground

Ok I ain’t a saint, sometimes being fresh out of fucks to give is exactly what some people deserve

As I reflect on the past few years  I must admit I’ve come a long way on my growth journey. I also must admit, I’ve got a long road ahead yet to be explored. 

I’m grateful I’ve made it this far! As I prepare to say good damn riddance to 2016 and all it’s fucked up memories, I am thinking about my main personal growth objectives for the upcoming year. For me, that means learning to find that middle ground with personal relationships! 

What I do know. is that not everyone is worthy of, or prepared to receive my best. That’s been demonstrated repeatedly, to the point it’s become a hindrance to my success. 

For the most part I either care too much or not at all. Both are dangerous places for me. The first usually ends up hurting me and the latter I end up unintentionally hurting someone else. Ok I ain’t a saint, sometimes being fresh out of fucks to give is exactly what some people deserve and I’m more than willing to oblige them. Who gives a shit about their feelings. See that’s why that’s dangerous. But to those individuals, whom I will just refer to as the exes. (EX-friends, EX-lovers, EX-husband, EXwhatever, You get the point!) Fresh out of fucks is what I am for them and fresh out I shall remain. 

But in the new year I’m gonna really work on my fuck distribution. I promise, I really am. Now don’t go getting all excited and expect for me suddenly change up cuz that ain’t happening. I’m just gonna try to be more selective on the front end fucks. So in 2017 I shall keep my fucks to myself until people earn them. That way I don’t end up getting fucked in the back end… (hahaha yall catch that?)
#NovaNewsFlash #FreshOuttaFucks 

Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates

And people are like those little tiny pieces filled with a bunch of shit you don’t know about till it’s too late

Yup, but you already know I ain’t no Forrest Gump…and if you seen me you’d know I ain’t running nowhere!

Yeah life IS like a Box of chocolates! And  people are like those little tiny pieces filled with a bunch of shit you don’t know about till it’s too late! Now you gotta choose…spit or swallow? 

(NOW if y’all take that spit or swallow comment some place nasty that’s ALL ON YOU)

Anyways, like I was about to say before y’all went THERE….. Just like chocolate candies, only an assorted few in the box, are anything you wanna keep around. 

There’s the rare speciality ones that are just too good to be true and you will do anything to save and preserve those relationships. That’s that good shit and there’s only like one or two per lifetime. 

A few of the pieces are alright in small quantities. But you could just as easily pass for a Snickers bar which is guaranteed to satisfy! (don’t go there!! Stop it… damn see y’all are really nasty)

 Okay I’m back…  then there’s a few more that you will deal with if that’s all that’s hanging around… It’s better than starving I suppose? Maybe not!

The rest, you might as well toss ’em out with the sour milk and molded bread. They look good on the outside but they’re full of shit and the tiniest piece is guaranteed to make you sick.  Those are the ones that will have you wanting to rethink your very decision to bring ’em home in the first damn place.

I say all of that to say… I’m looking back at my last couple exes and a few frenemies and thinking…. Where the hell have I been shopping to get full boxes if shitty chocolates???  The deep clearance shelf at the chocolate factory outlet????? 

I gotta do better!  

#ChocolateChallenge   Think about your friends, acquaintances and exes and tell me what kind of chocolates are in your box?… Then leave me a comment so I know if it’s just me or if it’s the world and all the boxes are jacked up.

I want a refund!!!

​The Fuckboy Formula

Remind yourself that dick is a dime a dozen and good dick may cost u 20 cents at best.

I have no idea where this shit comes from but I was just thinking about how fuckboys become fuckboys. 
As women we wrongfully blame ourselves and absorb responsibility for a great deal of the bullshit that fuckboys Put us through. But on the real though, if you look at their history, they were fuckboys when we inherited them. So back to the question….. 

There is a fuckboy formula…..

Great Dick + Bad Attitude – Respect = Fuckboy

Ok so I will be the first to admit Good Dick is a distraction. That’s probably how I got caught up this last time. The dick was fire, his attitude however outside the bedroom…. Sucked monkey balls!!! I just wasn’t paying attention! As for the respect factor. Level 0. 

He was a fuckboy in every form of the word. 

So how do you escape the fuckboy grasp……

1.  Disengage from the dick.

Remind yourself that dick is a dime a dozen and good dick may cost u 20 cents at best. Fuckboy dick however, will cost u your peace of mind and your happiness. As long as he thinks his dick will keep you content you will be fighting a losing battle. #NovaNewsflash …It ain’t THAT DAMN GREAT BRUH!!!

2.   Get a good quality dildo.

This will get you over the ‘hump’ no pun intended (but that shit is funny). Just like guys sometime we just need to get one or three off and a good dildo with fresh batteries will do the job just fine. Its quicker, quieter, no breakfast required, and no bullshit to be dealt with!

3. Take off the fucking rose colored glasses

See the fuckboy shit for what it is and stop blaming yourself and making excuses. Its not your imagination. Fuckboys are real and they will use you up and leave you high and dry as soon as your perceived value runs out.

4.  Remember your worth!!!!

Fuuuuck this is the key though… stop waiting, hoping, wishing that someone will do for you what you are capable of doing for.yourself. LOVING YOU!!!!! Now look. I aint judging, cuz yall know I got caught in the fuckboy game. But as soon as I recognized it I told the fucker he gotsta go!!! Not months or years later. DAYS!!

I never asked him to change, I never asked him to be anything other than the fuckboy he was. I loved me enough to say #BoyBye!

5.  STOCK UP!!! 

Never leave home wothout it. **Warning the gonna call you a stuck.up bitch but guess what…..THEY’RE IRRELEVANT!!

My Nice Just Ran The Fuck Out!

Fellas when you have a good woman at home. You know, the kind that cooks for you. Takes care of your home. Brings in a substantial part of the household income…. stop doing stupid shit and think that they don’t know what the fuck you’re up too.

I try for the most part to be a good person, to see the best in others and in general just fucking be nice!

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That is a highly-overrated experience. So much so that I found it necessary to create a platform like this to express myself on days that I am just fresh out of fucks to give and the credit line has been revoked.

People take nice people for granted. Men take good women for granted. Here in lies my issue for this evenings rant!!!!

Fellas when you have a good woman at home. You know, the kind that cooks for you. Takes care of your home. Brings in a substantial part of the household income…. stop doing stupid shit and think that they don’t know what the fuck you’re up too.

They do, they’re just waiting for the right moment to show you.  And you look like a stupid asshole to all your boys who are stacked up on the sidelines waiting for your final fuck up and for her to tell you to kiss her ass for the last time.

You think you got shit on lock but guess what…smart women keep spare keys.

Knock that shit off!

That’s all I got to say. I’m about to call the locksmith

 

What the hell was I thinking?

What the hell was I thinking? What the hell was I doing? I should have known better. I should have listened to that little “umph” in my gut when I agreed to forever changes. I asked questions and he gave the right answers in that moment.

I remember who he told me he was. I remember all of the things he told me he would do. Hell, I even remember thinking to myself, he sounds too good to be true. I knew even then that he wasn’t perfect. I never asked for perfect, I asked for one who was perfect for me. That is who he represented himself to be. The chemistry was off the charts, there was a mutual admiration and the love happened before I realized it. Looking back, I see that he did all of the little things so well. He did them so well in fact, that I chose to overlook the things that didn’t seem quite right assuming that they would never become big things. Of course they did. They became huge things.

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What the hell was I thinking? What the hell was I doing? I should have known better. I should have listened to that little “umph” in my gut when I agreed to forever changes. I asked questions and he gave the right answers in that moment. I see now he told me what I needed to hear.
Here is what I now understand. I wasn’t thinking. I was feeling. I was in love with the idea of building a forever instead of remaining present in the moment. I made permanent choices to address temporary situations. I failed to THINK. If only I could learn to love with my brain instead of my heart I swear things would be a whole lot easier. He reminded me that shit still stinks no matter how old it gets. What is wrong in the beginning will be wrong in the middle and will stay wrong until I put an end to it.

I could sit here and say Fuck my Life! I feel that way now looking at the mess it seems I have once again gotten myself into but guess what. I’m gonna say FUCK this chapter in my life. At the end of the day, what he hates most, is that my life goes on with or without him. Success is the greatest revenge and love is the most powerful weapon. What he did do quite well, is remind me to love my damn self unapologetically. His bad behaviors reminded me to stop expecting anyone to love me better than I can love myself. That is not possible. He also reminded me that to consistently put someone else’s likes, needs and desires in priority over my own is a recipe for unhappiness.

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Hahahaha fuck it. I still don’t know what the hell I was thinking going in, but I damn sure know what I am thinking going out. I came in emotionally but I am leaving by choice. I know without a doubt that I can still love him and not want to be with him.

Hopefully this will be the last time life fucks me, cuz I’m damn sure ready to just cuddle.