Rules for Exes

All bets are off. They ended when you showed me that you didn’t respect my ass no kind of way.

OK so we know my ex is a Fuckboy. That has been established already and he continually makes that label his own. As a matter of fact I swear he has turned Fuckboy into a brand! Like, you all know who the Axe body wash man is, right? From the commercials? You can put him in the shower or on a horse…. No matter where you put him or what he does he is the Axe guy….. Yeah that’s my ex…. He is the Axe man of fuckboys. No matter where he is or what he does he is a FuckBoy first.

OK breathe Missy………. Here is the back story for today’s rant……
Yesterday he sent me a text message needing something from me. I told him his timing did not work and that next week will work for me. Surprisingly, he said OK. End of story, right? NOPE>>>>>> cuz he is the poster child for fuckboys!!!!!!

So today he texted me asking if I am home and “Are you home? Why can’t I come today”. As if the question was somehow not already asked and answered yesterday. (Mind you, he was originally supposed to come over two weeks ago and was a no call-no show! Oh, so now you’re in a hurry? you think your problem is somehow my priority? (Get the fuck outta here!)

In my mind I’m saying…..”Um because Fucker… I told you yesterday when you could come by….WHY is not your fucking business.” Like my momma used to say “because I said so!!!! Shit. And if you keep asking me stupid questions the answer is going to be no, not ever”!!!!!

So I just didn’t respond. I have shit to do, that is so far beyond his comprehension it’s retarded. Besides, I don’t have the patience, desire, or obligation to respond to him on his time about MY LIFE or MY DECISIONS.

So now that ya’ll are up to speed. Here is the PSA – that means Public Service Announcement for those of you with FuckBoy tendencies. It means listen up. You need to know this, it may be helpful to you now or in the future.

PSA:

When you are in a relationship with someone, explanations typically flow freely. They are an extension of courtesy and symbolic of your level of respect for the other person as well as the relationship. Ones willingness to offer an explanation for decisions or to disclose schedule plans etc. demonstrates that you recognize there are two people in this thing and that a decision by one, may impact the other. It is a respect thing, not an obligation thing. I know some of ya’ll get that shit twisted.

So Dear EX,

Here is the main Rule of Exes…… Now that the relationship is over….. All of that is GONE!!!!! All bets are off. They ended when you showed me that you didn’t respect my ass no kind of way. So now that we aren’t together I will return the sentiment. What you need to know is that not only do I not have to explain shit, I am not even required to respond to your ass. Let’s be very clear….I never OWED you shit to begin with. I did it out of courtesy and respect for what I thought existed but you confirmed never did. So now that I am free of you and your bullshit it is imperative you that understand the rule of Exes….It goes like this, I will do what the fuck I want, when the fuck I want to do it. If I choose to respond to you, I will do so on my time, at my convenience. NOT YOURS!!!! What I do or don’t do is My Bizness not your Bizness. So for this to work right, you mind yours and I will continue minding mine. NO questions from you to me should begin with WHO, WHAT, WHEN OR WHERE…. And honestly HOW is pushing it.

Hopefully that clears things up for many of you. Below is a shareable version of the rules! Enjoy.

This has been a #NovaNewsflash brought to you by The Original Supernova

And just remember……

Slut Like Tendencies

So I really wanna talk a minute about Single men post relationship vs. Single women post relationship and the bullshit assed double standards that are at play. That shit is 50 shades of fucked up

Maaaaan, I had forgotten how fucking awesome being single is. Now I can appreciate how an inmate must feel on his release date. 

Okay, wait before the sensitive ass people, (who probably shouldn’t be following me anyway) get their panties in a wad…. Lemme say this. I already know that not that all relationships are bad, but mine have all sucked monkey nuts. Anyways fuck it…. I’m gonna save that for another day. 

So I really wanna talk a minute about Single men post relationship vs. Single women post relationship and the bullshit assed double standards that are at play. That shit is 50 shades of fucked up and I’m not feeling it one bit.

Back in the day Cyndi Lauper had a hit song called “Girls just wanna have fun” I think if she wrote it today she’d have called it “Girls just wanna fuck too”  Okayyyyy, maybe that’s a stretch but you know what the hell I’m getting at. (And by all means, don’t comment or email me asking who she is. My name Missy, not Google, go look that shit up.) But back to my point…..

When guys get free, their encouraged to do them, have some drinks, go out, get some ass and enjoy being single. #NovaNewsflash… That fucker was doing that shit long before he was single!! And 9 out of 10 of y’all knew about it!

When girls get free, we’re told to take it slow, enjoy our time alone, reconnect with our inner core, and decide what we want from the next relationship.Wait, whaaaaat? No you didn’t!

Ummm as the proud single Ex of the world’s oldest Fuckboy…. I say “fuck what yall talkin bout!” Y’all can go sit down with that bullshit. I’m tryna have fun! I had TIME to get in touch with my core and figure out what the fuck I want while his bum ass was off doing fuckboy shit and thinking I was a fool. Me, personally, I used my alone time IN THE RELATIONSHIP to get my head straight. Hahaha that’s why I’m single! #BoyBye
Honestly, I do prefer to have a regular source for the🍆🍆🍆🍆. It limits complications and requires less  management. But look, shit happens sometimes and a 🍆🍆🍆🍆on standby is sometimes required to tame the 🐱🐱🐱🐱. (PSA:protect the kitty, fuck responsibly)

 Here’s what I want you to know about the single girls taking their own needs into control…. They’re not sluts, their more like, bachelorettes! They just have slut like tendencies. 😎😎😎 The grown and sexy bachelorette knows how to handle her business, get the 🍆🍆🍆🍆when she wants it, put the shit on pause when she doesn’t, and still look like a lady in the streets. Bachelorettes like their lives, men, and sex drama free! Sluts on the other hand, lack all of the above. They have no business to speak of, take the dick when and where they can get it, along with any ensuing bullshit that may be tired to it.  For them, the word lady is a noun not a verb. It conjours up images in their minds of their grannies in rocking chairs!

Soooo, please stop judging the girls that have survived the fuckboy bullshit and come out the other side knowing what they want and how to get it on their own terms. 

After all, girls just wanna have fun! Just like boys do!

Finding that Middle Ground

Ok I ain’t a saint, sometimes being fresh out of fucks to give is exactly what some people deserve

As I reflect on the past few years  I must admit I’ve come a long way on my growth journey. I also must admit, I’ve got a long road ahead yet to be explored. 

I’m grateful I’ve made it this far! As I prepare to say good damn riddance to 2016 and all it’s fucked up memories, I am thinking about my main personal growth objectives for the upcoming year. For me, that means learning to find that middle ground with personal relationships! 

What I do know. is that not everyone is worthy of, or prepared to receive my best. That’s been demonstrated repeatedly, to the point it’s become a hindrance to my success. 

For the most part I either care too much or not at all. Both are dangerous places for me. The first usually ends up hurting me and the latter I end up unintentionally hurting someone else. Ok I ain’t a saint, sometimes being fresh out of fucks to give is exactly what some people deserve and I’m more than willing to oblige them. Who gives a shit about their feelings. See that’s why that’s dangerous. But to those individuals, whom I will just refer to as the exes. (EX-friends, EX-lovers, EX-husband, EXwhatever, You get the point!) Fresh out of fucks is what I am for them and fresh out I shall remain. 

But in the new year I’m gonna really work on my fuck distribution. I promise, I really am. Now don’t go getting all excited and expect for me suddenly change up cuz that ain’t happening. I’m just gonna try to be more selective on the front end fucks. So in 2017 I shall keep my fucks to myself until people earn them. That way I don’t end up getting fucked in the back end… (hahaha yall catch that?)
#NovaNewsFlash #FreshOuttaFucks 

Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates

And people are like those little tiny pieces filled with a bunch of shit you don’t know about till it’s too late

Yup, but you already know I ain’t no Forrest Gump…and if you seen me you’d know I ain’t running nowhere!

Yeah life IS like a Box of chocolates! And  people are like those little tiny pieces filled with a bunch of shit you don’t know about till it’s too late! Now you gotta choose…spit or swallow? 

(NOW if y’all take that spit or swallow comment some place nasty that’s ALL ON YOU)

Anyways, like I was about to say before y’all went THERE….. Just like chocolate candies, only an assorted few in the box, are anything you wanna keep around. 

There’s the rare speciality ones that are just too good to be true and you will do anything to save and preserve those relationships. That’s that good shit and there’s only like one or two per lifetime. 

A few of the pieces are alright in small quantities. But you could just as easily pass for a Snickers bar which is guaranteed to satisfy! (don’t go there!! Stop it… damn see y’all are really nasty)

 Okay I’m back…  then there’s a few more that you will deal with if that’s all that’s hanging around… It’s better than starving I suppose? Maybe not!

The rest, you might as well toss ’em out with the sour milk and molded bread. They look good on the outside but they’re full of shit and the tiniest piece is guaranteed to make you sick.  Those are the ones that will have you wanting to rethink your very decision to bring ’em home in the first damn place.

I say all of that to say… I’m looking back at my last couple exes and a few frenemies and thinking…. Where the hell have I been shopping to get full boxes if shitty chocolates???  The deep clearance shelf at the chocolate factory outlet????? 

I gotta do better!  

#ChocolateChallenge   Think about your friends, acquaintances and exes and tell me what kind of chocolates are in your box?… Then leave me a comment so I know if it’s just me or if it’s the world and all the boxes are jacked up.

I want a refund!!!

​The Fuckboy Formula

Remind yourself that dick is a dime a dozen and good dick may cost u 20 cents at best.

I have no idea where this shit comes from but I was just thinking about how fuckboys become fuckboys. 
As women we wrongfully blame ourselves and absorb responsibility for a great deal of the bullshit that fuckboys Put us through. But on the real though, if you look at their history, they were fuckboys when we inherited them. So back to the question….. 

There is a fuckboy formula…..

Great Dick + Bad Attitude – Respect = Fuckboy

Ok so I will be the first to admit Good Dick is a distraction. That’s probably how I got caught up this last time. The dick was fire, his attitude however outside the bedroom…. Sucked monkey balls!!! I just wasn’t paying attention! As for the respect factor. Level 0. 

He was a fuckboy in every form of the word. 

So how do you escape the fuckboy grasp……

1.  Disengage from the dick.

Remind yourself that dick is a dime a dozen and good dick may cost u 20 cents at best. Fuckboy dick however, will cost u your peace of mind and your happiness. As long as he thinks his dick will keep you content you will be fighting a losing battle. #NovaNewsflash …It ain’t THAT DAMN GREAT BRUH!!!

2.   Get a good quality dildo.

This will get you over the ‘hump’ no pun intended (but that shit is funny). Just like guys sometime we just need to get one or three off and a good dildo with fresh batteries will do the job just fine. Its quicker, quieter, no breakfast required, and no bullshit to be dealt with!

3. Take off the fucking rose colored glasses

See the fuckboy shit for what it is and stop blaming yourself and making excuses. Its not your imagination. Fuckboys are real and they will use you up and leave you high and dry as soon as your perceived value runs out.

4.  Remember your worth!!!!

Fuuuuck this is the key though… stop waiting, hoping, wishing that someone will do for you what you are capable of doing for.yourself. LOVING YOU!!!!! Now look. I aint judging, cuz yall know I got caught in the fuckboy game. But as soon as I recognized it I told the fucker he gotsta go!!! Not months or years later. DAYS!!

I never asked him to change, I never asked him to be anything other than the fuckboy he was. I loved me enough to say #BoyBye!

5.  STOCK UP!!! 

Never leave home wothout it. **Warning the gonna call you a stuck.up bitch but guess what…..THEY’RE IRRELEVANT!!

My Nice Just Ran The Fuck Out!

Fellas when you have a good woman at home. You know, the kind that cooks for you. Takes care of your home. Brings in a substantial part of the household income…. stop doing stupid shit and think that they don’t know what the fuck you’re up too.

I try for the most part to be a good person, to see the best in others and in general just fucking be nice!

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That is a highly-overrated experience. So much so that I found it necessary to create a platform like this to express myself on days that I am just fresh out of fucks to give and the credit line has been revoked.

People take nice people for granted. Men take good women for granted. Here in lies my issue for this evenings rant!!!!

Fellas when you have a good woman at home. You know, the kind that cooks for you. Takes care of your home. Brings in a substantial part of the household income…. stop doing stupid shit and think that they don’t know what the fuck you’re up too.

They do, they’re just waiting for the right moment to show you.  And you look like a stupid asshole to all your boys who are stacked up on the sidelines waiting for your final fuck up and for her to tell you to kiss her ass for the last time.

You think you got shit on lock but guess what…smart women keep spare keys.

Knock that shit off!

That’s all I got to say. I’m about to call the locksmith

 

Don’t Get It Twisted

By the time she gets caught, if she gets caught it’s because she had already quit. you just weren’t paying attention. By then the last two fucks she had to give were already gone.

See most relationship problems begin with lack of respect. If you allow respect for your partner to guide your relationship you will drastically reduce the problems and the magnitude of the ones that do arise will be minimized. 

But alot of folks have forgotten that basic equalizer!

Listen up ya’ll…. making your partner feel disrespected, disregarded and tossed aside is the quickest way to open the doors to your relationship. 

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Fellas you wanna play the game then get pissed the hell off when your lady invites a new player to the game. Well guess what…. learn some damn respect. They say men cheat more but women cheat better… write that shit down!!! Now you wanna know how and why???

HOW: You taught her every fucking thing NOT TO DO. She watched, listened and learned. So, while you thought she was sitting back buying your bullshit ass stories, she was taking notes, accepting applications and holding interviews for your replacement

WHY: Because you treated her like an option but didn’t realize your ass was a CHOICE all along. She chose to stay. She chose to give you the information you need to fix it and keep her… but you was playing for fun…while she was choosing for keeps.

By the time she gets caught, if she gets caught it’s because she had already quit. you just weren’t paying attention. By then the last two fucks she had to give were already gone. 

You treated her like an option she left you like a choice. Thanks for the lessons.
Game over! CHECKMATE Mother Fucker