Rules for Exes

All bets are off. They ended when you showed me that you didn’t respect my ass no kind of way.


OK so we know my ex is a Fuckboy. That has been established already and he continually makes that label his own. As a matter of fact I swear he has turned Fuckboy into a brand! Like, you all know who the Axe body wash man is, right? From the commercials? You can put him in the shower or on a horse…. No matter where you put him or what he does he is the Axe guy….. Yeah that’s my ex…. He is the Axe man of fuckboys. No matter where he is or what he does he is a FuckBoy first.

OK breathe Missy………. Here is the back story for today’s rant……
Yesterday he sent me a text message needing something from me. I told him his timing did not work and that next week will work for me. Surprisingly, he said OK. End of story, right? NOPE>>>>>> cuz he is the poster child for fuckboys!!!!!!

So today he texted me asking if I am home and “Are you home? Why can’t I come today”. As if the question was somehow not already asked and answered yesterday. (Mind you, he was originally supposed to come over two weeks ago and was a no call-no show! Oh, so now you’re in a hurry? you think your problem is somehow my priority? (Get the fuck outta here!)

In my mind I’m saying…..”Um because Fucker… I told you yesterday when you could come by….WHY is not your fucking business.” Like my momma used to say “because I said so!!!! Shit. And if you keep asking me stupid questions the answer is going to be no, not ever”!!!!!

So I just didn’t respond. I have shit to do, that is so far beyond his comprehension it’s retarded. Besides, I don’t have the patience, desire, or obligation to respond to him on his time about MY LIFE or MY DECISIONS.

So now that ya’ll are up to speed. Here is the PSA – that means Public Service Announcement for those of you with FuckBoy tendencies. It means listen up. You need to know this, it may be helpful to you now or in the future.


When you are in a relationship with someone, explanations typically flow freely. They are an extension of courtesy and symbolic of your level of respect for the other person as well as the relationship. Ones willingness to offer an explanation for decisions or to disclose schedule plans etc. demonstrates that you recognize there are two people in this thing and that a decision by one, may impact the other. It is a respect thing, not an obligation thing. I know some of ya’ll get that shit twisted.

So Dear EX,

Here is the main Rule of Exes…… Now that the relationship is over….. All of that is GONE!!!!! All bets are off. They ended when you showed me that you didn’t respect my ass no kind of way. So now that we aren’t together I will return the sentiment. What you need to know is that not only do I not have to explain shit, I am not even required to respond to your ass. Let’s be very clear….I never OWED you shit to begin with. I did it out of courtesy and respect for what I thought existed but you confirmed never did. So now that I am free of you and your bullshit it is imperative you that understand the rule of Exes….It goes like this, I will do what the fuck I want, when the fuck I want to do it. If I choose to respond to you, I will do so on my time, at my convenience. NOT YOURS!!!! What I do or don’t do is My Bizness not your Bizness. So for this to work right, you mind yours and I will continue minding mine. NO questions from you to me should begin with WHO, WHAT, WHEN OR WHERE…. And honestly HOW is pushing it.

Hopefully that clears things up for many of you. Below is a shareable version of the rules! Enjoy.

This has been a #NovaNewsflash brought to you by The Original Supernova

And just remember……

Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates

And people are like those little tiny pieces filled with a bunch of shit you don’t know about till it’s too late

Yup, but you already know I ain’t no Forrest Gump…and if you seen me you’d know I ain’t running nowhere!

Yeah life IS like a Box of chocolates! And  people are like those little tiny pieces filled with a bunch of shit you don’t know about till it’s too late! Now you gotta choose…spit or swallow? 

(NOW if y’all take that spit or swallow comment some place nasty that’s ALL ON YOU)

Anyways, like I was about to say before y’all went THERE….. Just like chocolate candies, only an assorted few in the box, are anything you wanna keep around. 

There’s the rare speciality ones that are just too good to be true and you will do anything to save and preserve those relationships. That’s that good shit and there’s only like one or two per lifetime. 

A few of the pieces are alright in small quantities. But you could just as easily pass for a Snickers bar which is guaranteed to satisfy! (don’t go there!! Stop it… damn see y’all are really nasty)

 Okay I’m back…  then there’s a few more that you will deal with if that’s all that’s hanging around… It’s better than starving I suppose? Maybe not!

The rest, you might as well toss ’em out with the sour milk and molded bread. They look good on the outside but they’re full of shit and the tiniest piece is guaranteed to make you sick.  Those are the ones that will have you wanting to rethink your very decision to bring ’em home in the first damn place.

I say all of that to say… I’m looking back at my last couple exes and a few frenemies and thinking…. Where the hell have I been shopping to get full boxes if shitty chocolates???  The deep clearance shelf at the chocolate factory outlet????? 

I gotta do better!  

#ChocolateChallenge   Think about your friends, acquaintances and exes and tell me what kind of chocolates are in your box?… Then leave me a comment so I know if it’s just me or if it’s the world and all the boxes are jacked up.

I want a refund!!!

Just say fuck it, and mean it!

That’s my mood about a whole lot of shit right now. I’m nothing, if not consistent!

You know I realized the other day that “fuck” is probably in of my most frequently used words. It is so applicable to so many scenarios. 

Burn dinner…. FUCK IT

Clothes don’t fit… FUCK IT 

Late for work… FUCK IT

Bitches taking shit…FUCK IT

Spouse/ Insignificant other cheating… FUCK IT (oh in this case FUCK THEM TOO)

Yep “FUCK” is by far the most resourceful tool in my vocabulary to happiness tool box. To me, fuck it is my permission to move beyond the drama, bullshit, pain, and frustrations that may otherwise hold me hostage  to anger, resentment and self doubt.

For example…. I was in my closet today…. And as Sophia said in The Color Purple… “I was feeling down and low, I was feelin.mighty bad”…  Because sometime between last winter and now all of my FUCKing clothes shrank on the hangers. I checked the labels and they said hang to dry, so I did… Nowhere did the label say do not consume wine, cheesecake, or tacos or this shit will shrink… So I feel duped. Well fat and duped actually. Naked too, but I don’t wanna scare you, so ignore that part. Fuck my life, fuck my closet and fuck my clothes.. FUCK IT ALL! 

That’s my mood about a whole lot of shit right now. I’m nothing, if not consistent!

My point is this, had the hangers accosted my clothes the way they did, and I not have learned to say FUCK IT, I’d be fucked!  I’d have been in the closet, naked and alone in tears. Boobs on knees, curled up in a ball wishing I’d never had the tacos, wine, margaritas, nachos, cheesecake, pasta, French fries, pizza or beer…(Damn that looks bad in writing) ughhhh Fuck it!
 Instead, I looked in my drawer, found some workout pants (that used to be too big, guess they shrank to)  and left for the respite of the nail salon as planned! After all, I say fuck everything.if you can’t at least have wine, cheesecake and tacos over the holidays. Tacos are life and wine makes it worth living.

So I  encourage you to practice as you go. Say FUCK IT as you see fit. Do it, say it and mean it unapologetically. At least till January when resolutions to lose weight start….

If so, I might be able to fit my underwear by spring!  If not we can resume Fuck it season again in March when we all trick off  our resolutions.
Well I feel better now getting that all out in the open. Confessions good for the soul. 
What’s your FUCK IT moment for this week?