Finding that Middle Ground

Ok I ain’t a saint, sometimes being fresh out of fucks to give is exactly what some people deserve

As I reflect on the past few years  I must admit I’ve come a long way on my growth journey. I also must admit, I’ve got a long road ahead yet to be explored. 

I’m grateful I’ve made it this far! As I prepare to say good damn riddance to 2016 and all it’s fucked up memories, I am thinking about my main personal growth objectives for the upcoming year. For me, that means learning to find that middle ground with personal relationships! 

What I do know. is that not everyone is worthy of, or prepared to receive my best. That’s been demonstrated repeatedly, to the point it’s become a hindrance to my success. 

For the most part I either care too much or not at all. Both are dangerous places for me. The first usually ends up hurting me and the latter I end up unintentionally hurting someone else. Ok I ain’t a saint, sometimes being fresh out of fucks to give is exactly what some people deserve and I’m more than willing to oblige them. Who gives a shit about their feelings. See that’s why that’s dangerous. But to those individuals, whom I will just refer to as the exes. (EX-friends, EX-lovers, EX-husband, EXwhatever, You get the point!) Fresh out of fucks is what I am for them and fresh out I shall remain. 

But in the new year I’m gonna really work on my fuck distribution. I promise, I really am. Now don’t go getting all excited and expect for me suddenly change up cuz that ain’t happening. I’m just gonna try to be more selective on the front end fucks. So in 2017 I shall keep my fucks to myself until people earn them. That way I don’t end up getting fucked in the back end… (hahaha yall catch that?)
#NovaNewsFlash #FreshOuttaFucks 

My Nice Just Ran The Fuck Out!

Fellas when you have a good woman at home. You know, the kind that cooks for you. Takes care of your home. Brings in a substantial part of the household income…. stop doing stupid shit and think that they don’t know what the fuck you’re up too.

I try for the most part to be a good person, to see the best in others and in general just fucking be nice!

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That is a highly-overrated experience. So much so that I found it necessary to create a platform like this to express myself on days that I am just fresh out of fucks to give and the credit line has been revoked.

People take nice people for granted. Men take good women for granted. Here in lies my issue for this evenings rant!!!!

Fellas when you have a good woman at home. You know, the kind that cooks for you. Takes care of your home. Brings in a substantial part of the household income…. stop doing stupid shit and think that they don’t know what the fuck you’re up too.

They do, they’re just waiting for the right moment to show you.  And you look like a stupid asshole to all your boys who are stacked up on the sidelines waiting for your final fuck up and for her to tell you to kiss her ass for the last time.

You think you got shit on lock but guess what…smart women keep spare keys.

Knock that shit off!

That’s all I got to say. I’m about to call the locksmith

 

Don’t Get It Twisted

By the time she gets caught, if she gets caught it’s because she had already quit. you just weren’t paying attention. By then the last two fucks she had to give were already gone.

See most relationship problems begin with lack of respect. If you allow respect for your partner to guide your relationship you will drastically reduce the problems and the magnitude of the ones that do arise will be minimized. 

But alot of folks have forgotten that basic equalizer!

Listen up ya’ll…. making your partner feel disrespected, disregarded and tossed aside is the quickest way to open the doors to your relationship. 

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Fellas you wanna play the game then get pissed the hell off when your lady invites a new player to the game. Well guess what…. learn some damn respect. They say men cheat more but women cheat better… write that shit down!!! Now you wanna know how and why???

HOW: You taught her every fucking thing NOT TO DO. She watched, listened and learned. So, while you thought she was sitting back buying your bullshit ass stories, she was taking notes, accepting applications and holding interviews for your replacement

WHY: Because you treated her like an option but didn’t realize your ass was a CHOICE all along. She chose to stay. She chose to give you the information you need to fix it and keep her… but you was playing for fun…while she was choosing for keeps.

By the time she gets caught, if she gets caught it’s because she had already quit. you just weren’t paying attention. By then the last two fucks she had to give were already gone. 

You treated her like an option she left you like a choice. Thanks for the lessons.
Game over! CHECKMATE Mother Fucker

 

Miss Me With The Bullshit and PS: FUCK OFF!!!!!

When you know you have done all you can do and it still isn’t good enough you gotta just be strong enough to say fuck it. 

All hell is about to break loose. It’s ok though. Sometimes shit has to shake you up to get you out of your comfort zone, even when your comfort zone is no longer comforting. Especially when your comfort zone has become down right un-fucking-comfortable.

When you know you have done all you can do and it still isn’t good enough you gotta just be strong enough to say fuck it. 

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Face your fears and remember that as of yesterday, you had already survived the hardest day of your life.

If today takes its place, tomorrow you can say…. I just survived the hardest day of my life. 

Either way my soul is telling me and spirit is insisting I say Fuck IT, Fuck YOU, and Fuck OFF. My heart is a bit sad but cool. My mind had already gained the clarity to see that IT, THIS, US, and YOU are all wrong for me

I was better before this and I will be better again once this is over. 

So, on behalf of my soul, spirit, heart, and mind I graciously say FUCK OFF. Love don’t live here no more and neither do you mother fucker.

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No worries though I’mma keep my head up cuz you gonna learn today you fucked over the wrong bitch!

 

What the hell was I thinking?

What the hell was I thinking? What the hell was I doing? I should have known better. I should have listened to that little “umph” in my gut when I agreed to forever changes. I asked questions and he gave the right answers in that moment.

I remember who he told me he was. I remember all of the things he told me he would do. Hell, I even remember thinking to myself, he sounds too good to be true. I knew even then that he wasn’t perfect. I never asked for perfect, I asked for one who was perfect for me. That is who he represented himself to be. The chemistry was off the charts, there was a mutual admiration and the love happened before I realized it. Looking back, I see that he did all of the little things so well. He did them so well in fact, that I chose to overlook the things that didn’t seem quite right assuming that they would never become big things. Of course they did. They became huge things.

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What the hell was I thinking? What the hell was I doing? I should have known better. I should have listened to that little “umph” in my gut when I agreed to forever changes. I asked questions and he gave the right answers in that moment. I see now he told me what I needed to hear.
Here is what I now understand. I wasn’t thinking. I was feeling. I was in love with the idea of building a forever instead of remaining present in the moment. I made permanent choices to address temporary situations. I failed to THINK. If only I could learn to love with my brain instead of my heart I swear things would be a whole lot easier. He reminded me that shit still stinks no matter how old it gets. What is wrong in the beginning will be wrong in the middle and will stay wrong until I put an end to it.

I could sit here and say Fuck my Life! I feel that way now looking at the mess it seems I have once again gotten myself into but guess what. I’m gonna say FUCK this chapter in my life. At the end of the day, what he hates most, is that my life goes on with or without him. Success is the greatest revenge and love is the most powerful weapon. What he did do quite well, is remind me to love my damn self unapologetically. His bad behaviors reminded me to stop expecting anyone to love me better than I can love myself. That is not possible. He also reminded me that to consistently put someone else’s likes, needs and desires in priority over my own is a recipe for unhappiness.

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Hahahaha fuck it. I still don’t know what the hell I was thinking going in, but I damn sure know what I am thinking going out. I came in emotionally but I am leaving by choice. I know without a doubt that I can still love him and not want to be with him.

Hopefully this will be the last time life fucks me, cuz I’m damn sure ready to just cuddle.

Fuck Boy 101 – Lessons 1 & 2

Listen up Bruh!  I have RAISED AND TRAINED better fuck boys than you will ever become. Shit at this point had you asked, I would have trained your monkey ass too so you don’t just do dumb shit that makes both of us look bad when I gotta tell the damn story.

OK I already know the title alone has either grabbed you or repelled you. Honestly, I don’t much give a shit. That is my mood right now. Take it or leave it BUT, I do kinda hope you stick around for a bit and check this bullshit out. 

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Well the blog isn’t bullshit but this most recent fuck boy stunt is bullshit for sure!!!! I’m telling you as creative as I normally am, I SWEAR YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP!!!!!!!! NO FUCKIN’ WAY!!! You may be able to SAVE A FUCK BOY TODAY by reading this and sharing it.

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I always thought from past experience that fuck boys are usually young, a bit wet behind the ears, eager to please, with a guaranteed hard dick and not much else going for them. Long on ego, short on smarts. I know I sound like a complete bitch but again, I don’t much give a shit right now.

Anyway, HAAAHAAAHAAA guess what I learned yesterday. A mother fucker can be in his late 40’s still be a FUCK BOY!!!!!! . Oh, wait though, not just any kind of fuck boy, LMAO!!! A sloppy assed, new acting, mother fucker-you-should-know-better type of fuck boy!!! AT 47???? Really dude. Gosh dammit…. especially when, what is now your EX (but your bitch ass hasn’t gotten your own place yet) is a bright, successful, ambitious, no non-sense grown assed, real woman. Mutha Fukkr!!!!! You should have phoned a fucking friend before you tried fuck boy shit on a real woman.

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Listen up Bruh!  I have RAISED AND TRAINED better fuck boys than you will ever become. Shit at this point had you asked, I would have trained your monkey ass too so you don’t just do dumb shit that makes both of us look bad when I gotta tell the damn story. Here is the thing, young fuck boys are open, teachable and always deliver the D. They know their role, understand the job and play their fucking part without trying to run shit. As an OLD ASSED FUCK BOY, you still need to do the same shit. Play your fucking role, cuz you don’t run shit up in this piece. You have a grown woman standing before you and as a grown woman I know how to let a man be a man, fall back and let you shine. Make no mistakes though darling. While you are content being the head, I will always be the neck. Fuck boys probably won’t understand that, but check this out…. this is written communication and Fuck boys don’t read!!!! Hahahahahah maybe I need to insert a video for FUCK BOY 101 LESSONS.  That shit will fo sho be pay per view.
Here is your free preview for you and all The Fuck Boys that you know.

FUCK BOY lesson 1 – AIN’T SHIT FREE !  While your monkey ass sitting around thinking you running shit and getting over cuz you living up in a house with a woman getting meals cooked and pussy on demand and barely covering half the bills. Remember this, you think you getting over but to a real woman that is the cost she is willing to pay for companionship and good dick. So, when you stop providing good dick AND you creating problems, you gotta go you! That is like a price increase and we don’t do that here! The Queen sets the prices in the Queendom.

Now what I will tell you, is it is possible to graduate from Fuck Boy to Full Time “that’s my man” status but doing fuck boy shit in your 40’s ain’t gonna getcha there boo boo.

FUCK BOY lesson 2  SUN STILL SHINES ON A DOG’S ASS Now if you have little or no fuck boy experience that may seem a tad strange. Allow me to explain….. A dog’s ass is still a dog’s ass, rain, shine or shade. Meaning a FUCK BOY is still a FUCK BOY regardless of race, age or impression. See I just got fooled by a grown ass FUCK BOY. I knew we were on different levels and I knew we came from two different worlds, but I thought we could overcome the differences and the obstacles. However, that is because I thought in the beginning that he was a grown ass man. He said the right things, did the right stuff while we were dating, and convinced me that we could make this thing long term. Lemme confess. I fell for it. but this is what ya’ll gotta understand. A dog’s ass is still a dog’s ass and once the sun shines on it, it will always show up to be exactly what it has always been. A DOG’S ASS aka a FUCK BOY! and sure as shit stinks that is exactly what he has done. But he is so sloppy that it may actually be an insult an embarrassment to the more defined Fuck Boys around the globe.

For real tho…. I have…..no time for FUCK BOYS especially not an old sloppy one! 

Tune in later for the FUCK BOY SAGA along with lessons 3 & 4 I’m telling you, ya’ll ain’t gonna believe this shit!

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Leave The Assholes Behind You

Sugar coated shit is still shit in the middle and if you ingest too much it will leave you either toxic or dead. You pick your poison, but me, I ain’t expecting sugar coated shit to turn into chocolate cake just because I add high quality ingredients.

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Yeah that sounds good in theory but they forgot to mention you gotta do right by YOU first. In doing so, sometimes that means leaving a mother fucker just how you found them hurt, broken, lost and alone. 

It sucks to have to say that but some people aren’t worthy of the investment. Some people are just assholes and you gotta leave an asshole where it belongs👄 behind you! That’s not mean that’s just real talk. 

Here is what I have learned over the years. Sugar coated shit is still shit in the middle and if you ingest too much it will leave you either toxic or dead. You pick your poison, but me, I ain’t expecting sugar coated shit to turn into chocolate cake just because I add high quality ingredients. It ain’t happening! And I ain’t ingesting it! 

Therefore, I made the decision to stop trying to change people. I meet them where they are, and decide if it works for me or not. I don’t have enough time left on this earth to keep investing and wait for a return. 

Now that is not to say that I don’t try to be a good, kind, loving person because I do. I do that for me though, not because I expect them to change. I allow people to be their most authentic self. If they are authentically an asshole, I respect that too. But, I have my own thanks, and nobody needs more than one asshole in their life. 

Haha now that’s some real shit for ya! 

Be you boo, but let an asshole be an asshole!